RULES FOR A HAPPY DAY
This work is funded entirely by donations alone. Though not expected, if you feel guided to, PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE. Thank you for your support!
To WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION (as narrated by Beth) PLEASE CLICK HERE
RULES FOR A HAPPY DAY
Based on A Course In Miracles “Rules for Decision” Text CH 30 I.
There is no doubt that everyone on this planet is seeking happiness. We all want a happy day, every day. A Course In Miracles tells us that not only is this indeed possible, but is in fact, our only purpose here. We are here to learn how true happiness is achieved. We are here to bring our light, joy, peace, and love to the world.
How do we do this? It seems we have all tried and tried again, all to no avail; unhappiness enters our lives more often than not, and so we continuously seek it in one form after another.
What are we doing wrong?
Let us first take a look at what makes us unhappy.
The list is relatively short:
We are unhappy when someone else acts in a way that we do not like.
We are unhappy when our body acts in a way we do not like.
We are unhappy when circumstances act in a way we do not like.
It all really comes down to just three things:
1. Relationships: either yours or someone else’s.
2. Health: either yours or someone else’s.
3. Situations: either yours or someone else’s. Situations can range anywhere from an unhappy job situation to a housing situation or a financial situation – just to name a few.
Many people feel suffering in every area of their life.
So, what does the Course say about how to resolve these problems so we can be happy? It all comes down to making one decision: what voice will you listen to? Who do you hear within your mind as you look upon the world and all your perceived problems?
You have only two choices: you can listen to either God or the ego.
The ego will always try to correct your perceived problems from the wrong end. It will always try to correct what is outside of you, because what you see appears to be what is upsetting. The ego wants your body to be a certain way so that it can be happy. The ego wants your relationships to be a certain way; it wants everyone else to live their lives in such a way so that it can be happy. The ego wants your life situation to be a certain way so that it can be happy. And you are unhappy because nothing and no one is doing anything your ego wants. And so, this upsets you. You are unhappy whenever something does not happen outside of you, the way your ego thinks it should.
Know this: it is never your job to “correct” anything outside yourself. It is not your job to heal the body. It is not your job to try to change someone else – even if you think they will be happier. In fact, this is a very insidious way the ego tries to manipulate others. It is always disguised as “doing good,” or having someone’s “best interests at heart.” But really, it is merely the ego wanting its own way. It wants someone else to behave in such a way that makes it happy.
And so, again, most people try to “fix” their problems from the wrong end. They are trying to arrange the world around them to suit their ego’s desires. Do not feel upset to hear this. Nearly every human being tries to solve their problems in exactly this way. Trying to “fix” problems from the outside, is the only thing the ego knows how to do. It has no concept of “within” and therefore would never direct you to look there for a solution.
The solution lies in making the decision to listen only to the Voice of the Holy Spirit. Your happy day begins with this singe decision. But you must learn to recognize when you are not aligned with Him. Most people are never aware they are even making a choice. Listening to the ego has become automatic, and yet we must become aware of our choice in order to change our lives.
“Decisions are continuous. You do not always know when you are making them. But with a little practice with the ones you recognize, a set begins to form which sees you through the rest.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 1:1-3)
“And if you find resistance strong and dedication weak, you are not ready. Do not fight yourself. But think about the kind of day you want, and tell yourself there is a way in which this very day can happen just like that. Then try again to have the day you want.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 1:6-9)
So, every time you feel yourself slip into unhappiness over a body, a relationship, or a situation, remind yourself:
“The outlook starts with this:
Today I will make no decisions by myself.
This means that you are choosing not to be the judge of what to do. But it must also mean you will not judge the situations where you will be called upon to make response.” (2:1-4)
“This is your major problem now. You still make up your mind, and then decide to ask what you should do.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 3:1-2)
You are never having any thoughts alone. You are continuously either thinking thoughts that stem from God or the ego. In the beginning, you will need to remind yourself of this often to learn to listen to God and only God. When you think with the ego, you are actually “thinking alone” because the ego is nothing, and such thoughts will only lead you away from the happiness God Wills for you. It is the only other direction you can go if you are not aligned with God’s Mind.
“Throughout the day, at any time you think of it and have a quiet moment for reflection, tell yourself again the kind of day you want; the feelings you would have, the things you want to happen to you, and the things you would experience, and say:
If I make no decisions by myself, (no decisions with the ego) this is the day that will be given me.
These two procedures, practiced well, will serve to let you be directed without fear, for opposition will not first arise and then become a problem in itself.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 4:1-3)
What kind of a day do you want? What kind of things do you want to happen to you; the feelings you would have? Happy ones! Remind yourself you want a happy day. Then leave the details up to God. And remember it is not your job to control the world outside of you, but only your thoughts about it. You want to correct your life from the inside, for that is where both the problem and the solution are. Only the ego tries to control everything outside of you.
Understanding this thought – recognizing who you are listening to – is usually enough to dispel the ego from your mind and correct minor upsets to your happiness.
Even so, things happen to us throughout our day to destroy our peace. Sometimes we even begin our day with thoughts of the past, and wake with our peace already gone. When this happens, we have judged the world from the outside, rather than going within first. We have judged our life already, before we have even given it a chance to be happy. When we suddenly lose our peace, the Course tells us we must remember:
“But there will still be times when you have judged already.” (5:1)
“Then realize that you have asked a question by yourself, and must have set an answer in your terms. Then say:
I have no question. I forgot what to decide.
This cancels out the terms that you have set, and lets the answer show you what the question must have really been.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 6:2-6)
Again, what is the question we forgot? It is always the first step in having a happy day: “Who am I listening to? God or the ego?” Never forget to ask this question the moment your peace is lost. Always come back to this reminder and it will correct your minor upsets. The sooner you catch yourself in an unhappy line of thinking, the sooner you will restore your peace.
“Try to observe this rule without delay, despite your opposition. For you have already gotten angry.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 7:1-2)
When there are times simply remembering you want to listen to God is not enough, you must take another step. For the upset is just too great. You are too angry to be shifted by simply stating you would rather listen to God and not the ego – answering this question does not seem to help you at all. The Course states:
“If you are so unwilling to receive you cannot even let your question go, you can begin to change your mind with this:
At least I can decide I do not like what I feel now.
This much is obvious, and paves the way for the next easy step.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 8:1-3)
So, when you are so upset you cannot feel a shift into peace when you remind yourself you want to listen only to God’s Voice, at least admit to yourself you do not like the way you feel now. Then the Course instructs us:
“Having decided that you do not like the way you feel, what could be easier than to continue with:
And so I hope I have been wrong.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 9:1-2)
This can be a singularly difficult step to take. Admitting you are wrong is opposite to the ego’s thinking, who always thinks it is right.
What are we admitting we are wrong about? We hope we have been wrong about our bodies, another person’s behavior, and our situation. We hope we are seeing things wrong, because it would be devastating if our ego was right.
If your body is hurting, remind yourself that this state of pain is incorrect – the ego is wrong – this is not you. Do not let the ego convince you, you are in pain. Observe the pain, understand you are feeling it, but it is not who you are. You may be right in that you do indeed feel it, but you are wrong to think it is you. It is merely an experience you are having and once seen correctly, you will also see the solution.
If another person is hurting you, remind yourself that this is not them. Your ego is wrong in what it sees them as, for they are not their body. Do not let the ego convince you, you are being harmed. Observe whatever form the abuse seems to take, and understand you do indeed see their behavior, but it is not who they are. You may be right in what your ego sees, but you are wrong to believe the person they are showing you, is the truth about them. It is merely an experience you are having and once seen correctly, you will also see the solution.
If you are in a situation you do not like, remind yourself the ego always sees the world incorrectly and this is not your real life. Do not let the ego convince you, you are unhappy with your circumstances. Observe your situation, understanding that though what you see is not what you prefer, it is not the real world. You may be right in what you think you see, but you are wrong to think this is your reality. It is merely an experience you are having and once seen correctly, you will also see the solution.
Whenever you are unhappy, know that you are wrong – the ego is always wrong. And you know you are thinking with the ego because only thinking with the ego will bring you unhappiness.
“Until this point is reached, you will believe your happiness depends on being right. But this much reason have you now attained; you would be better off if you were wrong.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 10:2-3)
“And you can say in perfect honesty:
I want another way to look at this.
Now you have changed your mind about the day, and have remembered what you really want.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 11:3-5)
Here we can at least admit we do not like the way we feel, and we are willing to stop for a moment and allow our mind to open to another viewpoint – anything but the ego’s. We do not know what our next thought will be, but we hope it takes us in a new direction. We are no longer struggling against our pain and admit we need help.
“This final step is but acknowledgment of lack of opposition to be helped. It is a statement of an open mind, not certain yet, but willing to be shown:
Perhaps there is another way to look at this.
What can I lose by asking?” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 12:1-4)
Now you will be given a new thought, a new idea, a perspective you never thought of. Perhaps you will suddenly be able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes or realize the steps you need to take or words you must say to manifest the peace you so desire. This is the moment for an epiphany. It was in a moment such as this Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson came up with the thoughts behind the 12-step program.
It was in a moment such as this that Bill Thetford turned to Helen Schucman, amidst their conflict, and said his now famous words, “There must be another way.” And so began the making of A Course In Miracles.
But obviously it is much easier if you never get to the point of abject desperation. It is easier to have a happy day if you wake with the intension of never letting the ego rise in your mind to begin with. But this takes practice.
“It must be clear that it is easier to have a happy day if you prevent unhappiness from entering at all. But this takes practice in the rules that will protect you from the ravages of fear.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 13:1-2)
The first rule to remember then is to remind yourself you have a choice in guides: God or the ego. You have no thoughts alone. You are always aligned with one or the other. And you know who you are listening to, by how you feel.
“We said you can begin a happy day with the determination not to make decisions by yourself.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 14:1)
“You will not make decisions by yourself whatever you decide. For they are made with idols or with God.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 14:7-8)
“Your day is not at random. It is set by what you choose to live it with, and how the friend whose counsel you have sought perceives your happiness.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 15:1-2)
Rule number two is that you agree to, or accept the thoughts that come to you, or you would cast them from your mind immediately. If you are having unhappy thoughts with the ego, on some level then, you must want them, or you would decide against them. Nothing can stay in your mind without your consent. And by your thoughts, you are thus agreeing to what you want to experience before it occurs.
“The second rule as well is but a fact. For you and your adviser must agree on what you want before it can occur.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 16:1-2)
“Nothing can be caused without some form of union, be it with a dream of judgment or the Voice for God.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 16:4)
Nothing can happen to you without joining with either God or the ego as your guide. Only one choice will bring you happiness.
“It needs but two who would have happiness this day to promise it to all the world.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 17:1)
“It needs but two. These two are joined before there can be a decision. Let this be the one reminder that you keep in mind, and you will have the day you want, and give it to the world by having it yourself. Your judgment has been lifted from the world by your decision for a happy day. And as you have received, so must you give.” (ACIM CH30 I. Rules for Decision 17:4-8)
It is impossible that we can think alone. Our day can be reset at any time – even if it is moments before falling asleep; we can still turn around our thoughts and rejoin the Holy Spirit in our thinking.
First, we have only to admit that we have listened to the wrong voice.
Second, we stop our negative thoughts in recognition that they are causing us to feel the opposite of what we want.
Third, we decide we do not like how we feel.
Fourth, we realize that perhaps we are wrong in listening to the ego, because we are not happy and at peace. Would we rather be right, or happy? Be glad you are wrong.
Fifth, our mind is now opened to listening to the Holy Spirit, and we are ready to see things another way – a way that moves us in the opposite direction of the ego. We have nothing to lose by making this shift in thinking. Such thoughts will be some form of remembering union instead of separation; such thoughts will always direct you towards peace. And how these thoughts unfold to help you heal your problems will vary, but the result is always the same: you will find your inner peace and happiness. You will do this through releasing yourself from suffering through releasing your body, other people’s bodies, or your situation.
The rules for decision will always lead you to a peaceful, happy day, so long as you release all judgement as to how such a day should happen.
This work is funded entirely by donations alone. Though not expected, if you feel guided to, PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE. Thank you for your support!
To WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION (as narrated by Beth) PLEASE CLICK HERE